THIS is how my heart

heart shaped red neon signage

I walk the oceans edge
delight in the appearance
of birds landing beside me
to frolic-play
walk with me awhile —

Sacred gift of
this unspoken communion
pure bliss of being
free together —
and as they lift-float skyward
there is no edge
of absence-regret-loss
only joy residual from
the experience
of the knowing
in who they are.

THIS
is how my heart
desires to love you —
not with fear
or holding on
or with clinging
jealous hands —
but with unity-freedom
a oneness that remains true
even after your leaving.

 

~Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

A New Song

bare trees against sky during sunset

~for Mickey 12/2019

 

The old man tells me of his friend (and I am his friend)
as we drive home from dinner.  He falls to weeping
over the buddy he sang with in the church quartet
all those many years ago.

His friend died young, aged 48, and he stopped
singing then (at 72 he sings to me as we drive).
The pain of sad loss trembles from him, the words
and images fall into my lap for safe keeping — this
is a heart opening into hearing as I whisper the normal
“I’m sorry” and “I know it still hurts” because that is what
one does —

But I want say — “I am listening” and “I will put this
in a poem” Your heart — THIS big with love —
“I will save it forever for you in a poem.” But
I only whisper the normal solaces one gives,
watch his tears fall and listen as he shivers —
His frail voice singing a song about a Lighthouse
as I take his aged hand in mine
across the center console of the car.

There —
In the night drive home after dinner
in the shimmer and melody on air
and the spring of tears trembling down —

The ghost of his friend rides with us
on through the dark night
as hands both living and dead
reach out and touch —

And a poem is planted, unfurls —
Grows into a new song.

 

~Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

that look in my eyes

close up of fish over black background

Yes, you saw it.
I know the spark —
that inquisitive glimmer
transcended the space
between us.

I like your eyes –
such deep honest orbs.
And I won’t try
to hide mine or
the flowing currents
they hold.

It was pain
of recognition
acceptance
that little place
of knowing –
Servitude:
yes, Lord —
I understand –

Because, as you say,
as I have said so often,
it IS about living it,
isn’t it? And so –

what you saw
in the churning depths
was the letting go
of wish-desire-want
the acceptance of
and surrender to
Truth.

After all, Truth
is what we’ve both
been excavating
and chasing
all of our lives.

God’s voice, the inner
demand for obedience,
is a heavy hand
weighted-hard —

In some moments.
Truth
arrives in a way
that pains the heart
but nourishes the soul.

 

~Photo by Chevanon Photography on Pexels.com

 

 

 

teach me of swimming

Swimming

How much does water weigh —
how does the heaviness taste
against your skin?

Tell me of floating
and what that bed touches
in the back that rests there.

How do the waves speak
as they wash your face
and roll into your mouth?

Do you hear mermaids or nothingness
as water slides above your brow
slips into your inner ear?

Do your hands feel tenderness
or anger boiling strumming
through the rushing water?

What do fish see?
What song do seashells sing?
Does the water know the difference
between the moon and the sun?

 

~Photo Credit: (c)2019 Marissa Mullins

 

seeing another seeker with empty hands

brown sand

8~24~2019

 

Memory: Bright-eyed boy telling me about Shark’s teeth —
I was above and beyond the mire of irrationality
then — as Seger says      Deadlines & Commitments
What to leave in, what to leave out.

Reality: There are dozens of us     hundreds
walking the shoreline of Myrtle
each day —

You will know us by our eyes
cast down, scanning the sand
looking for Grace reflected
in an ebony shine.

We are a greedy and gracious lot
depending on our need in that hour.
Sometimes hoarding
because we need every syllable God whispers.
Sometimes generous
seeing another seeker with empty hands –
we smile and pass a treasure off –
Here, these are for you.
Handing the letters of God to others
because we are all seeking
words to ease the suffering
of all the questions
that convince us
there is any other answer
but ourselves

believing
there is an answer
floating somewhere
in the sand
to who we are –
why we love –
how we are here.

 

 

~Photo by Miri on Pexels.com

 

less afraid of the dark

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8~24~2019

Do you remember the nights
in dark moon absent hours
of deep crashing wave sounds?

You, with your bright flashlight
walking an impatient mile-a-minute
in front of me — always running —
while love-want-mothering-harlot
enveloped me in bliss and agony.

Duality — Loving a man-boy who
would never grow up. The letting go
ending every facet of my known world
(and I knew that truth then) Still — knew
the agony was my fight with God over
what was coming-inevitable-necessary.

I laughed and cried together as we
roamed the sand looking for treasure
on those deep warm summer nights,
saying goodbye to both of us in every step.
Your flashlight dimmer as you raced ahead
and as I followed, I knew I was becoming
less afraid of the dark.

I find shark’s teeth now
every time I visit the beach.
God and I, hand in hand, walking
together. He gives them to me —
a way of loving-forgiving
and remembering you.

 

 

~Photo by Lukas Rodriguez on Pexels.com

Chance

adorable black and white blur boy

In Egypt there are camels feeding.
In Tahiti there are frogs jumping.
They may not meet
In this lifetime
On this journey.

In Kansas there is a wheat field dancing.
In England there is a muddy river flowing.
They may not meet
In this lifetime
On this journey.

In Space there is a boy working and laughing.
In Time there is a girl writing and smiling.
They may not meet
In this lifetime
On this journey.

 

~Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

we love by degrees

woman with red hair and blue eyes

~August 2019

 

We love by degrees
of shadow and light.

The old man
tells a fishing story
his eyes filling up
with sea mist.

The young man
touts the size of his dick,
the number of conquests
his eyes glittering triumph.

The old woman
remembers her wedding
his eyes warm with love
the children she grew
and gave wings.

The young girl
rushes to get ready
for a first date lost
in fantasy and breathless
heartbeat
eyes gleaming with
anticipation.

We love by degrees
of shadow and light.

Like the pupil in our eyes
expansion    contraction
measured entry
as the world spins
onward in time
our hearts of stone
holding fires

that we water out
or add wood to
depending on the day.

 

~Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

 

our first conversation

th9X2DIBKU

~June 2019

 

Poetry may save me
if I am willing —

“And the Word became flesh.”
Christ is known to me this way.

The rustle and moan of vibration
flowing-peace-words of poetry.

I think this-poetry was our first
conversation.

Before
the smell of rain on a dirt driveway,
the blue and white moving clouds —

As I lay on deep green grass
staring upward — mesmerized

without separateness of identity
to confuse me.

 

 

but poets know

person wearing guys fawkes mask watching flame

~June 2019

There is a reason the snake bite
must be cut and bled,
a mouth needed to suck the poison
out, spit it away into nothingness.

I have heard it said of the great writer
that he is madness, an evil man with
evil stories.    But, no —
he writes to remove the poison images
and this is how he stays sane.

Jung’s dark Shadow theory —
what the mind hides inside it —
It becomes. The writer
realizes the freedom of releasing
the shadows so he can move on.

Every writer knows this truth,
but poets know the poison intimately.

 

 

~Photo by Ashutosh Sonwani on Pexels.com

 

the place beyond the pale

beach clouds dark dark clouds

You find the place beyond the pale of disbelief
where knowing whispers in the echo of storms
and gravitational energy rolls through your being —

it happens in the strangest moments of deep clarity,
that flowing into and beyond time and need and want
and the beauty of being nothing fills you up as tides

roll and wash and rock your deeper self to wake,
while the person you knew all those days and hours
of your living dissipates into the becoming of  waves

like the fresh clean stringent sand of the beaches
after storms and hard rain and beating winds —
you are washed clean of debris and footprints

bare and naked and open and raw to the light
pouring down onto you
from a cloudless clear blue sky.

 

 

~Photo Credit: by Josh Sorenson on Pexels.com

from the shadow blooms

Rose darkbrush

Her fear enters the door ahead of her.
The fragile-silk side-step fear of trespass
that tells you she knows too many dark
hours — that she is a flower from the shadow
blooms beneath branches blocking

sunlight. Moves and changes come
with strong winds, tussled leaves
and limbs spinning the orbiting petals
upward  — into this fragile day of sun
that she both worships and fears.

The sun is a powerful god she loves, but
the trepidation and fear of transgression,
suspicion, uncertainty — the suspect knowing
of humble plant to mystic star, child to Lion,
needful flower to the light which sustains it.

These fears sit down as a group on the ground
around her roots, crawl up to perch on nearby
leaves and wait and watch and then — Wisdom
cradling Mercy in her breast, breathes healing
and the fears recede for now into the shadows.

 

~Photo Credit: Shadow Bloom, (c)2020 Marissa Mullins

 

 

stretched thin with yearning

Grass Artful

That desert sea of sand
holds the roots in mystery
as the reaching toward heaven
begins —

hot rolling hours change the day
moving into hours of darkness and chill
wind blows in, howling, from the ocean cold.
Here —

Life digs in deeper, then
reaches higher, higher, higher — outstretched
and stretched thin with yearning
it grows

toward a bright light other unknown
calling its core seed to sprout, reach
strive for the impossible unattainable
until

the shadow essence grows shorter, smaller
and as true darkness sets in — disappears
into the space of night — the labor of life
resting

knowing that tomorrow light will come,
call out again for new strength of purpose,
demand heaven-high climbing life focus
to rise.

~Photo Credit: (c)2020 Marissa Mullins 

stand

King Solomon asked God for Wisdom.
The boy David said how dare you speak thus
about My God,
picked up a rock and went to war.

The Queen of Sheba sent useless gold
to a King and then refused to forfeit her throne.
Bathsheba, with her innocent beauty,
a King and Kingdom overwhelmed.

Deborah got tired of waiting for a man
to do the work God needed done –
took up the Sword on her own.
Ruth was meek and holy and followed
Naomi where they were bound.

Stand up — King — Soldier!
Don’t fear this fierce Grace of God!
All you lose is the false “me” — do you See?

The Mother comes in many forms,
humbled and in tears as
Mary at the foot of the Cross,
in silk, shame, and scent as
Jezebel at the gate, or as
the whispered breath of Holy Spirit
a gentle breeze across the lake.

The Divine, sublime, all consuming
Fire of Self Discovery. The Feminine
Power, though disparaged and maligned,
burns deep in the Trinity.

So, step up
Cowboy — brace those pretty boots in the sand.
Sometimes you gotta trust God enough to Stand!

all the jewels

It was his birthstone – and a color
he often wore. But,
all those years together
it was a stone in my hand,
a jagged crystal tower
on my desk.

When we ended — all the jewels
fell to the ground like stars
dropping from the night sky.
Since then
I have stayed away from
the power of purple and gray.

You can’t know these things
as you hand me a heart
stone of purple amethyst,
that fills my palm with cool
smooth weight —

The past never ends, it is
recycled and reshaped
into the Now —
that bouncing between
the three realms of
past, present, future
eventually ends:

Three becomes One.
The Trinity of Time
flows in One stream
knowing
the eternal
is all-encompassing.
This never ending
circular flow —

The heart I lost in blood and flesh
given back to me in polished stone.

So, we agreed

bright bubble color flatlay

I sit by the small pineapple fountain
because
I always say, I like this space —
but the larger fountain, more often
calls to me, and I sit there — writing.

When God and I were discussing
where to go and how to Live Today,
I mentioned this pandemic —

“I do not know how much longer
You will grant me breath?”
(He remained silent on this topic.)

So, we agreed —
Today is the perfect day
to sit by the pineapple fountain.
Together —

Sharing sunbeams, a mild breeze,
the tender melody of dripping water
and this Great Love we share
for the beauty and complexity
named Living.

 

~April 6, 2020 at Market Common Fountains

~Photo by Pineapple Supply Co. on Pexels.com

You take my hand

silhouette of newly wedded couple

You take my hand and we go out
into the world.
You are my dearest playmate, companion.

Sometimes,
the Mind says to me
“Are you crazy?”

“Who are you to speak of God this way?”

But, I am learning
to listen only to Your laughter,
to relax into the giggles we share,
to take Your hand in mine,
to trust You —

And then,
I smile at my Mind, all his babbling,
like a jealous, drunk friend!
Because
the Heart sees differently —

And I know that this romping about,
playing with mischief, roaring in laughter and joy,
through these life-days of shimmer and shine
with You
is the only reason I came.

 

~Photo by Thái Huỳnh on Pexels.com

the sweetest madness

persons raising hands

My mind is always trying to talk
my heart out of this madness.
This argument–
bickering battle between them —
My soul watches — laughing.

These two contrary companions
endlessly scrapping and tussling
like kittens learning to grow up —
Meow! Shriek! Hiss, attack, tumble —
Oh, this joy of mock battle
to be ruler of the kingdom!

Meanwhile,
You are water flooding into each open crevice;
You are fire and red-flame lava burning me to ash;
You are space, silence, the great wash of wind —
across my body like cool breezes on warm days.

Electrical impulse of cell and synapse —
You are light exploding in every particle of my being —
And I am dying into the invisible storm of You —
And it is the most beautiful place I have ever known.

Dying to Love is the sweetest madness:
One never wishes to come back from that!

 

~Photo Credit” Luis Dalvan on Pexels.com

the love that is Home

Gateway

It is as if
Somehow — Someone
opened the gate and let me back in
to the Garden of Eden —

while the world still sees me
and keeps calling, calling
to come back out and play.

I can’t find words
that work to explain
I am happier here
than ever, anywhere —

How does one explain
the love that is Home?

 

~Photo Credit: Gateway; (c)2019 Marissa Mullins

Open Call for Artists, Poets, Writers, and Creatives!

Hello Beautiful Creatives,

I need you! I need your talent!

The world needs you! The world needs your talent!

We Creatives share a cutting-edge vision, a specific energy and enthusiasm, and a way of seeing the world and life that is desperately needed during these difficult times. I would like to give you a sacred space to speak in and the opportunity to speak — in whatever medium you call your own; be it art, poetry, writing, music — and so here we go … it’s an Open Call!

If you’d like to know who in the world I am – check out my artist bio above for all those official details. Or, read through some of these blog posts if you just want to get a feel for me.  If you’d like to see other artists and writers and work I like– go check out poetryisaverb.wordpress.com. I post occasionally on here and I read and select pieces off the web at random and by my gut — if I like it, on it goes!

Currently, I’m working on a slick-glossy style lit mag/art mag/mindfulness style quarterly. This will be a print publication and I hope to have the first print run ready to go by Winter 2020. I’d like to invite you to join me!

If you have an interest in further details, or in being included or having your work included on Poetry is a Verb (also on Facebook as Poetry is a Verb!), then simply drop me a note on here or you can email me at Marissamullinsphotography@gmail.com for more details and so we can chat!

I look forward to hearing from you and to our Co-Creative efforts!!

Much Love & Blessings to All,

~Marissa

Sparrow

brown small beak bird

He came to land
so gingerly and brave
on the chair-back
beside me (reading Rumi) —
at a table near the fountain.

Then,
hopping down and around
the edge of the table,
a hand-length
beside me
as if
he knew there was
an uneaten cookie
inside my book-bag  —
and asking
so sweetly and gently —

What could I do?
But
reach into the bag,
pull the cookie out, and
crumble it across the table
as a sacred offering
for this invitation
to love.

 

~March 2020, Market Common, Myrtle Beach, SC

~Photo Credit: Flickr on Pexels.com

day of miracles 3/20/20

Beach3620

The sandy beach gave me heart tokens
in stone and shell.

The sea gulls paraded their young before me
training flight as I gazed on the becoming.

The ocean washed sand away to show me
a giant shark tooth for my hand.

There was love and light and poetry flowing,
new books of beautiful verse for my heart,
a picnic lunch with my lover in the park.

There was a painted rock
in a flower pot with a painted heart and my
initial that was waiting for me to walk by.

There was a brave bird that introduced himself
and asked to share my cookie, and at my acquiescence,
he and his friends sang me love songs while they ate.

There was water rushing in the fountain
and a pen filling notebooks with poems.
There was sunshine and shade and shadow —

A breeze carrying the scent of blossoms my way
and a bench held me lovingly in sacred space.

There was love and life and flowing in me, around me,
with me. Leaves fell as Shams sang and Rumi danced.

There was a day of miracles … what more could I want?

 

 

~Photo Credit: Blue Ocean, Myrtle Beach State Park; (c)2019 Marissa Mullins 

the only way Home

OceanGreen

I am neck-deep in this wave-water of You.
That, all my life before
I only could stick my toe in –
or, sometimes
there was loud-splash and timid-step, You
surging up around my ankles –
or, other times
in the bravest neurotic mad-laced hours,
I would close my eyes and run barreling
into deep-dark-swirling waters up to my waist.
But — Always,
as the sand ripped away beneath my feet,
the dizziness spun and fear gripped me,
out and back to the safety of shore I ran.

Now,
no solid ground-safety-land beneath my feet.
Your waves flow-wash-lap at my throat –
Your water forces–kisses-enters my mouth –
I rock-surrender-float, two toes touching bottom,
in this bliss of dissolving into You —
My soul begs You — fill me, immerse me, consume me.
My Mind cannot understand this madness.
My Heart knows insanity in love with the Beloved
is the only way Home.

 

~Photo Credit: (c)2019 Marissa Mullins

you were always becoming poems

time lapse photography of flame

~For Joey, April 2019

 

Oh, that sparkle of mischief
and laughter and child
that jumped out of your eyes
and decked me,
knocking the breath from me
as I sat across the room!

Boy that I loved
with deep heat longing,
held close to my breast, a child-man
I could not help heal save reach trust.

“Beautiful”
and you were the most beautiful boy
on earth to me —

your eyes your lips your face your hair
your heart
your hands your chest your belly your legs
your manhood
your fight your laughter your demons your smile
your soul

“Beautiful Destruction”
running through my heart – life – soul.

“I ruined you,”
you used to say.

“No, Beautiful,”
you were the match I used for flame.

To love beyond all aspects of self
brings the burning of purification.

You were always becoming poems
in the Seeing Eyes of a Poet.

“I ruined you.”

“No, Beautiful.”
You were my chosen suicide.

 

 

~Photo by Igor Haritanovich on Pexels.com

 

Vibration

 

scenic view of night sky

~July 2019

 

Gulp the words down like bits of sushi.
They swim – gather – coalesce – become fish.
Drown the fish-words in wine and bourbon.
They grow mouths – whimper like babies –
mutate into screams.

Starve the words screaming.
No pens – no paper – no ink.
They transform    become heartbeat, sweat,
blood – They cocoon into
emotions – fears – paranoia –
Ooze out of dark places in wrong moments.

Beat the words back like fire, with a blanket.
They burn deeper into the molecules of being
and merge with the soul of the mouth.
Speak the words that grow in your infinite silence.
They transform into vibration of echo and return —

AUM — OM

 

~Photo by Philippe Donn on Pexels.com

Desolation

woman s lips

~July 2019

 

There were a thousand lies on each side.
No one —
Won the war
Turned out to be right
Gained the spoils.
There was no trophy given.

The soul whispers for Desolation
and he comes when called.

It starts as one Want above all
in a fresh grass field
populated by children, flowers, butterflies and

wishes
become want
and want
becomes all
and all
becomes darkness and fire
becomes burning and ice
becomes a ravaged field.

Only space, emptiness, openness remains
after Desolation does his job.

When the lies have spoken their spark
When the fires have burned their burning
When the rain has gone away, the river receded
When the sun drops from the sky
When fear drives the chariot of victory
And his kingdom reigns supreme in your mind
When mercy closes her eyes and her voice grows faint
When the storm is unceasing and the flames of
Self-devouring grow higher than flight

There —
you are reborn.

 

~Photo by Jessica Gaudioso on Pexels.com

Drops

DSC_0565

~September 2019

 

Your voice drops
into my tired tattered soul
like the soft drizzle of Autumn rain
drops across the withering leaves
in a dry dying orchard after harvest.

Your voice drops
into my shaky shattered spirit
like the wash of deep hard rain
drops across fire-cracked earth
filling the deep-graven lines of desert.

Your voice drops
into my fragile frail heart
like the splashing plops of Spring rain
drops across fresh-born flower petals
newly breathing in the bright light of a garden.

 

~Photography Marissa Mullins (c)2019

Drift

white and black moon with black skies and body of water photography during night time

~September 2019

Drift = a continuous slow movement from one place to another.

 

Drift me toward the Shore of Surrender
on the wave of a sweetly sung lullaby.

Cradle me in Imagination and Intuition
with hands of intimate caring caresses.

Float me across the Ocean of New Hope
in the arms of fantasy and prayer.

Speak me a distant Day of Devotion
where flowers and fortune and future exist.

Courage me toward the silent Strength of Unity
with whispered words of sacrifice.

Drift me into the new living Light of Life
on the sound of a sweetly sung lullaby.

Sing me through these dark Lone Days
where the heart wills but the spirit is broken.

 

~Photo by GEORGE DESIPRIS on Pexels.com

 

 

Solace in September

DSC_0563

~September 2019

 

You are a gift given without your knowing —
God’s mysterious hand
using you
to bring me solace in September.

How can your love sing
this strange strong song  —
your voice whispering healing
into my shattered spirit?

Drowning
in the tones and waves and
whispers of lullaby —
I ask myself —

How does love
grow a heart that strong —
Strong enough to send strangers
solace in September?

Happenstance and miracles
grow from the same garden.
I am content to see the orchard —
to know it exists.

 

~Photography Marissa Mullins (c) 2019