We are a million hours of time away from the boy who wrote poems and drew pictures -- and the girl so excited to read them, to know him, to love him. Those children lost in the fogs of doing adulthood -- The Serious Business of Living -- That Delusion -- Teaching them to hide away in the dark shadows -- alone. Grief is a selfish master. His remembering what is lost always living that past image. The dearness of it roots the tears, forces the chest to grow upward in swelling pain. We grieve the possibility that died. The honesty we forsook. We grieve what could have been if we were other than we are. We grieve the hours spent believing we could be anything and everything to each other -- those doors always closing in silence, the noise of our breaking heart the only sound left echoing through the room.
grief
funeral song
2001 Myrtle Beach, SC
ego-separation from the letting-go
is the last phase of loss.
solemn-silence is declared.
it will not lift, can not lift
until vision clarifies.
imagine the world as a new
place created and transformed by
the without, adjusted perception
looks for meaning
submerged in the pain.
seeks solace from a fragmented spirit
that clings to us in absence.
each lost thing claims
a part of our souls
perfection
unravels the lies we hide
inside ourselves
leaving us
bare and jaggedly grieved.
we becomes
the creation of losses
evolves into shards of recovery.
Stimulated by grieving
we acknowledge the mirrors
reflection of our souls love
for others.
©2001, Marissa Mullins